A thread I want to keep and point people at, because I get this question in my inbox more than any other and I'm tired of answering it one email at a time!
Everyone tells you to "find a doula." Nobody tells you how. You search, you get a directory of names with no prices, you email four of them, one replies, she's booked until August, and you give up and tell yourself you'll manage.
So: if you hired someone. A birth doula, a postpartum doula, an IBCLC, a pelvic floor PT, overnight help, anyone. I want the boring parts.
How did you find her? Not "word of mouth." Whose mouth! Your OB? A local Facebook group? A friend? A directory, and if so which one?
What did it cost, actually? A number. I know this is the uncomfortable one and you can be vague about your city if you want, but the silence around price is doing real harm. People assume they can't afford something they've never been quoted.
Did insurance touch any of it? Even partially. Even after a fight. Especially after a fight, honestly, tell me how you won it!
How far did you travel? I'm collecting this one on purpose and I'll explain why another time.
And one more, because I think it's what actually breaks people. Did you know what you were hiring? A birth doula and a postpartum doula are not the same job. A night doula is a different job again. A newborn care specialist is a different job again. An IBCLC is a credential. A "lactation educator" is not the same thing and the words look identical when you're 3 days pp and crying.
I've watched people hire the wrong one and conclude the whole category was useless. That's not a them problem, that's a nobody-explained-it problem.
I'll keep this thread linked from the directory. Be as specific as you're comfortable being! The specifics are the entire value here.
Doula here. Answering the cost question from the other side, because the silence around it is mutual and it's costing everyone.
I charge $35/hour. I don't put it on my profile and I've been sitting here trying to work out why. Partly because people quote lower and I don't want to get filtered out on price before anyone's talked to me. Partly because saying a number out loud about work this personal feels awful.
But the result is what you're describing. People don't ask because they assume, and I lose clients who could have afforded me and never found out. I turn...
Georgia this is the most useful thing anyone's said to me about the directory in a year and I want to fix it! "I don't show up in searches for the towns I'll actually drive to" is a thing I can do something about.
She's six days old and I'm typing this one-handed, so this is going to sound like the wrong answer but I think it's the one you're collecting.
I didn't find anyone. Bozeman. I called five people off two directories in February. Two never replied, one was booked, one didn't take my insurance and quoted $2,400, one was a 90 minute drive each way and told me honestly that she couldn't commit to being there for a birth that far out.
So the answer is nobody, and I had her without one, and I've mostly made my peace with it. Mostly.
Putting it in...
This is exactly the answer I'm collecting and I'm sorry. Bozeman's going on the list. Fourth Montana message I've had this year and it's the same story every time.
Can I ask which two directories? I want to know whether they were empty or whether they listed people who aren't actually taking clients, because those are different problems and I can only fix one of them.
Listed people who weren't taking clients, mostly. One profile hadn't been touched since 2023 as far as I could tell. That's almost worse than empty? Empty at least tells you something true.
Postpartum doula, Sacramento, found her through a local mom group on Facebook after striking out on two directories. $38/hour, four hour minimum, we did two mornings a week for six weeks. Roughly $1,800 total. Insurance did nothing lol.
Worth every dollar and I'll be specific about why, because "worth it" is useless. She did not hold the baby. I held the baby! She did the dishes, ran a load of laundry, made me eat something that wasn't a granola bar, and sat with me while I cried about nothing on the second morning. I had a 2yo and a newborn and...